IBT TOEFL Writing 독립형 Sample essay 17개 /writing 만점자 작성

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Reading 27/Writing 30/ Speaking 23/ Listening 27

맞았습니다!! Writing 그 동안 써았던 것이고요, 학원 선생님께 한번 첨삭을 받아서 교정된 것을 올려드립니다.
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People have different ways of relaxing. Some people prefer to relax by watching movies and reading books. This is because watching movies and reading books have many priceless merits. However, I personally prefer to do (it sounds a little awkward when it says I prefer doing, as is the case with “ I want doing blah blah”)physical exercise rather than watching movies and reading books. I will use the point of personality and health to illustrate my thought for the topic at hand.
First, there is a personal reason why I prefer to do physical exercise in order to relax. I am an extrovert. When I read books in the library alone, I feel nervous, and I even cannot focs on reading books. On the contrary, if I do physical exercise, since I can meet many people with similar interests, I feel comfortable, and I can relax a lot. To be specific, I usually go swimming in my free time. It helps me to meet many people from all walks of life like a teacher, a policeman, and a high ranking officer. By meeting them while swimming, I am able to broaden my perspective talking to each other for a long time, which makes me feel very happy.

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